Duds at 9!

birthday boy! 
my second child, Zoe Guille, celebrated his 9th birthday last 11/11.

we had a simple celebration with my sisters, nieces and nephews at Nanay’s house and enjoyed pancit (cooked by Nanay of course), a huge chocolate cake and a humongous pizza (c/o Jugnos Monsterpizza) to go with it. it was a simple, cozy and blissful family affair.

bonus for Duds is his ‘crush,’ little Rosemary, who is the special guest for his BIG day. my boy is stepping into the tweens stage– he has more and more crushes and a lot other girls who seemed to like him (daw!). now it frightens me hugely thinking unnecessarily about him growing up and entering into the adolescence stage…

call it a mom’s paranoia!

 

the middle child

being a middle child, Duds (short for Dudoy, as he is fondly called at home) seemed to have the strongest personality among my 3 kids. strongest– being the most aggressive, assertive, independent, autonomous, healthy, head-on, go-getter child. on the negative side, he seemed to give me the most headache than my 2 other kids.

unfortunately, people with strong personalities are more often misjudged and misunderstood. the strength in character can be interchanged, hence, could also be perceived as negative if misused. but as a child, he is still unable to make use these strong points to be productive. his reactions are mostly based on his current state of mind– his likes and wants, his thoughts and ideas, his mental capacity.

 

for example:

Duds was perceived as a ‘bad child’ (i hate this term and will never use it on my kids) when he told one of our neighbors that my sister is a bad aunt. to coin his exact words, ‘masama ang ugali ni tita eh!’ honestly, the quote really disturbed and disappointed me as a mom, but as a firm believer of fairness i asked why he said it and listened well.

in a nutshell, his truth is based on his beliefs and we cannot blame him for it. these are unadulterated thoughts and his perspectives are actual. his observations are valid, hence, should be respected.

that particular strong point is self-assertiveness which can be perceived negatively when taken in the adult point of view. but since some adult personalities are more judgmental than understanding, they perceived Duds as a (bad) child because of his choice of words.

after a brief explanation, i told him: ‘we must be careful with words and what we say about other people. it is not good to say something bad about someone. think first before you say something. respect your tita the same way you respect me.’

 

i think he just misused his assertiveness and that for me is totally forgiveable. the challenge then is on me, as his mother, who should guide him and redirect his strong points into the positive, productive and good.

on a more important thought, i’d rather look at the positive side of his personality– give him a little more push, encourage him some more, praise his work and simple goodness, let him know how much he is loved.

but this is not to disregard his weaknesses and shortcomings. teach him a lesson and a little spanking if needed to keep him grounded.

and more importantly, PRAY hard for wisdom and strength to raise this child according to HIS will.

 

i’m sure i’ll get by.

so much for the mom paranoia…