Motherhood (again)

sometimes life plays a trick on you…

remember my previous post on remission? i exhaled a lot of negative thoughts in that particular post, not really caring whether someone get hurt in the process. and i don’t regret the exhale.

hubb expressed bitter regrets for what he’s done, and i have forgiven his shortcomings (though, as i said, it cannot easliy be forgotten…). now we’re totally okay, and life is once again smooth. THANK GOD.

but while in remission, i was surprised by one of God’s infallible ways. my period was a few weeks delayed, and while contemplating on the remission, God gave me another reason to hold on to my marriage. i’m already 10 weeks pregnant with our 4th child.

the kids were so thrilled with the thought of a new baby. they were even the ones who informed Nanay and my sisters (and some neighbors, too!) that i am preggy. hubb was also excited, already thinking of the new set-up for the rooms. Ate and Kuya’s cannot stay in the same room as the baby.

and me? oh well… though i had some second thoughts at the onset, there was no doubt in my mind that this baby is a gift from heaven.  Motherhood is a privilege, a gift and an honor. and not everyone is as blessed and as capable of rearing a child.

on the financial aspect (which is also a major consideration), i am so blessed for being in a company that will shoulder my maternity concerns. my monthly consults with the OB is *FREE OF CHARGE* and our delivery package covers P20K for NSD, which is a substantial amount of financial assistance! oh, and there’s SSS maternity benefit, medical reimbursements for my meds, etc. etc. 

i am both excited and scared yet again. excited for the new baby (that i can almost smell his/her angel’s breath!) and scared at the thought of the gruelling childbirth since i’ve been through it 3x already. but there was no doubt in my mind that i’ll be able to succesfully give birth via NSD, i just know…

moving forward with life, i am trusting God’s ways for everything. now more than ever, i realized how important faith is. another pregnancy was not part of MY plans for this year, but since God has other plans for me, i don’t think i have right to question Him. and yes, there are no accidents.

i just pray fervently that this baby grow up to be strong, intelligent and healthy. 

;-)