Wake Up Call

just wanna share you this very nice post…

good am!    

Gising, Tol.

Tumatanda ka na.

Nasa Friday Magic Madness na yung mga paborito mong kanta. Nakaka-relate ka na sa Classic MTV. Lesbiana na yung kinaaaliwan mong child star dati. Nanay na lagi ang role ng crush na crush mong matinee idol noon .

Dati, pag may panot, sisigaw ka agad ng “PENDONG!”. Ngayon, pag may sumisigaw nun, ikaw na yung napapraning. Parang botika na ang cabinet mo. May multivitamins, vitamin E, vitamin C, royal jelly, tsaka ginko biloba.

Dati, laging may inuman. Sa inuman, may lechon, sisig, kaldereta, inihaw na liempo, pusit, at kung anu-ano pa. Ngayon, nagkukumpulan na lang kayo ng mga kasama mo sa Starbucks at oorder ng tea.

Wala na ang mga kaibigan mo noon.

Ang dating masasayang tawanan ng barkada sa canteen, napalitan na ng walang katapusang pagrereklamo tungkol sa kumpanya ninyo. Wala na ang best friend mo na lagi mong pinupuntahan kapag may problema ka. Ang lagi mo na lang kausap ngayon e ang kaopisina mong hindi ka sigurado kung binebenta ka sa iba pag nakatalikod ka. Ang hirap nang magtiwala.

Mahirap nang makahanap ng totoong kaibigan. Hindi mo kayang pagkatiwalaan ang kasama mo araw-araw sa opisina. Kung sabagay, magkakilala lang kayo dahil gusto ninyong kumita ng pera at umakyat sa tinatawag nilang “corporate ladder”. Anumang pagkakaibigang umusbong galing sa pera at ambisyon ay hindi talaga totoong pagkakaibigan. Pera din at ambisyon ang sisira sa inyong dalawa.

Pera. Pera na ang nagpapatakbo ng buhay mo.

Alipin ka na ng Meralco, PLDT, SkyCable, Globe, Smart, at Sun. Alipin na ng Midnight Madness. Alipin ka ng tollgate sa expressway. Alipin ka ng credit card mo. Alipin ka ng ATM. Alipin ka ng BIR.

Dati-rati masaya ka na sa isang platong instant pancit canton. Ngayon, dapat may kasamang italian chicken ang fettucine alfredo mo. Masaya ka na noon pag nakakapag-ober- da-bakod kayo para makapagswimming. Ngayon, ayaw mong lumangoy kung hindi Boracay o Puerto Galera ang lugar. Dati, sulit na sulit na sa yo ang gin-pomelo. Ngayon, pagkatapos ng ilang bote ng red wine, maghahanap ka ng San Mig Light o Vodka Cruiser.

Wala ka nang magawa. Sumasabay ang lifestyle mo sa income mo.
Nagtataka ka kung bakit hindi ka pa rin nakakaipon kahit tumataas ang sweldo mo. Yung mga bagay na gusto mong bilhin dati na sinasabi mong hindi mo kailangan, abot-kamay mo na. Pero kahit nasa iyo na ang mga gusto mong bilhin, hindi ka pa rin makuntento.

Saan ka ba papunta?

Tol, gumising ka. Hindi ka nabuhay sa mundong ito para maging isa lang sa mga baterya ng mga machines sa Matrix. Hanapin mo ang dahilan kung bakit nilagay ka rito. Kung ang buhay mo ngayon ay uulit-ulit lang hanggang maging singkwenta anyos ka na, magsisisi ka.

Lumingon ka kung paano ka nagsimula, isipin ang mga tao at mga bagay na nagpasaya sa’yo. Balikan mo sila.

Ikaw ang nagbago, hindi ang mundo.

 

 

~ repost from McNeil (via Multiply)

Just Some Thoughts…

sorry again for the long lull…

i have been logging into this blog and creating posts but i can’t seem to find the time to finish them. all of the thoughts i have written would be a waste if i’ll just delete them. 

so, here…  snippets of thoughts i had for the past few months, hoping to finally make you understand what is going on inside me.  

written 2009-06-01 @15:14:00

tell me of misery. of sadness. of warfare and desolation.

tell me of times where there is no life. where nothing important matters to who you really are.

not even success. or wealth. or knowledge. 

misery completes the picture.  

 

the person that you really are do not set you apart from your misery.

[whatever the feelings  i had on this day reflects a rather gloomy perspective. gladly, it’s just the rush…]

o ~ 0 ~ o

written 2009-06-03 @12:16:00

i’m still crazy about going back to school.

but i can’t seem the find the time or energy or the hard push to get there or to get moving.

 

i am at a threshold asking whether i ‘want’ to or i ‘need’ to.  want is something superficial, like gushing for that candy. need is something deeper, as in one cannot live without it. at present, i’m at the stage where i am in deep want of something to disturb my mediocre corporate life. i want something to excite me, and going back to school will really speed me up.

  

either way, it will benefit me entirely.  

[this post was weeks before i learned i am pregnant…]

o ~ 0 ~ o

2009-07-31 13:28:00

i just sooo L-O-V-E my kids!!!

 

they are growing up so fast and growing up to be good-natured and cool kids. though they still have their unique naughty notions, one cannot discount the fact that their genes were strewn out of mine. we share the same smile, laughter, funny faces. and we love making fun of ourselves without getting too emotional or onion-skinned. they loved laughing loudly and laughing their hearts out.

they aren’t afraid to show their weaknesses, not afraid to be caught in an uncompromising position because of their actions. they aren’t afraid to show their feelings at me and towards me. and yes, they can be subversive sometimes,  but that is probably my trait and they got it from me.

they make me feel loved all the time. they love to hug me so tight and kiss me like babies (even if they are all too grown up now to kiss their mom like babies!). they are expressive in sharing their thoughts and feelings at me because i encourage them to speak up about what they feel. for example, i tell them: ‘tell me what you feel coz i am not a fortune-teller and i hate guessing games.’

o ~ 0 ~ o

2009-08-04 13:14:00

this pregnancy thing is really peculiar.

 

i had my 3 kids born consecutively almost every year and rarely felt any peculiarities and cravings on the first quarter of pregnancy. but this one is notably annoying.

foremost, my mornings are dependent on her (let’s assume she’s a she…). either that i’d roll out of bed gracefully or i’d roll out of it bummed. either that i have a terrible headahe or that i am heady and geared completely.

i hate all kinds of BAD smell! i don’t like eating the food i cooked and would rather eat out and buy fastfood. 

i am  crazy about japanese food especially sashimi in kikoman and wasabe! i crave for it almost everyday. most days, FRUITS are my companion especially watermelons! 

 

[yes, the peculiar feeling is still going on inside me like ‘first time’. sometimes, i feel like such a bum… but then again, i feel that i have a rather glowing aura, which some deduce as a certain ‘coming of age in pregnancy’ which to me is a positive thing… ]